My Day Yesterday in 90 Seconds

So I got this idea from my man Carlos at Ragamuffin Soul. He snatched it from a Flickr group. After I watched his I remembered seeing El Clinto's a few weeks ago. What can I say, I have low sales resistance when it comes to bandwagons.

Basically you video yourself throughout a typical day. In the end you edit the footage together, into a 90 second montage, with snippets no greater than 2 seconds each. This rule should not be broken under any circumstances. Actually, that's not correct. If you have a cute little adopted Asian kid who comes screaming through your living room looking all sorts of cool... that's the one exception. Let the clip go 3 or 4 seconds easy, if not 5 or 6.

I tried to get a cute little Asian kid in the video for my day yesterday. I even found one, but he didn't run around and look all cute and stuff. He just sort of stood there with food in his mouth mumbling, so I cut it off at like 1.8 seconds. Who wants to see that crap?

I'm rambling. Here's the video.

My Yesterday in 90 Seconds from dewde on Vimeo.

This was a fun, quick little project, and I was able to get some good stuff in to help date the video. Maybe I'll make it a routine to do on the eve of my birth every year or so.

I Wrote The Constitution

Before I had children I read a book by my pastor, Andy Stanley. In one chapter he challenged me to think about the goals I had for myself and my family. So I reflected on them momentarily before continuing about the usual enterprise of life. Then we had our first daughter.

Fathering children has a way of changing a man. I quickly realized that lofty musings and wishful thinking were no way to lead my family. So I went back and re-read the chapter in that book. I took it to heart when Andy challenged me write out my goals for my family. They say if you aim at nothing, you'll hit it every time. I didn't want to hit this target. So I opened Google Docs and I began drafting, in the words of http://dictionary.com, a system of fundamental principles according to which a nation, state, corporation, or the like, is governed. Substitute "or the like" with "my family."

I began drafting a Family Constitution.

It became clear, in short order, that one document would not suffice. Maybe it's the patriot in me, that my parents raised, but our Family Constitution felt remiss without an accompanying Bill of Rights. So I drafted one of those also, for the children.

After I had worked on it for a while I knew I needed external review. Actually, my new Family Constitution required it! I have a group of close friends and family that I consider my personal advisory board. I mean that literally. I have a group in my address book titled "Personal Advisory Board." When my drafts were complete, I sent my board the following email.

Now that our family is growing, the time felt right to go ahead and write down some of our goals. Please feel free to question any of them. The wording, the importance, etc. Maybe they overlap, or maybe some need to be divided. Chew on it. Take your time. I guess the main thing I would like your advice on, is if I am missing any huge areas, principles, categories, or topics.

These two documents represent values that [Dewdette] and [Dewde] intend to prioritize as we raise our children and live our lives here on this earth. I'm sure it will be a growing and changing document. It will grow while we grow, as God teaches us lessons throughout our lives. I hope it stays very simple and concise as opposed to wordy or redundant.

That was 2 and a half years ago. Now it's time to dust this puppy off. Reevaluate. Revise. and Refine.

The Family Constitution

Integrity

• To hold honesty as the foundation of our ethics.
• To always choose the harder right, as God defines right, over the easier wrong.
• To be sincere and genuine in our endeavors.

Charity

• To enrich the lives of others with our time and assets.
• To always rebuke with hesitancy and gentleness.
• To keep a sense of humor.

Wisdom

• To obtain counsel of reputable peers.
• To listen twice as much as you speak.
• To fellowship with God through prayer and study.

And also.

The Children's Bill of Rights

• To be safe and nourished.
• To be given love, rooted in patience and tenderness, not contingent on decisions or actions.
• To be taught by example hand-in-hand with instruction.
• To be given unconditional respect, not contingent on decisions or actions.
• To be guided in the skills necessary to navigate life with peace and contentment.
• To be forgiven of all trespasses.
• To be disciplined with predictability and consistency.

I post them here for two reasons. First, I seek constructive feedback. Especially if you are of an alternate world view. Christians have a history of being terribly myopic. Actually, I have a history of being terribly myopic. And not just in the 5 years since my conversion, but my 10 Atheist years before that.

Second, I hope to inspire you in the same manner that I was inspired. Please consider, if you haven't already, articulating your goals in written form, as you lead your family. I can name dozens and dozens of changes Dewdette and I made to our lifestyle as a direct consequence of the conversations we had while I drafted these documents.

This is time well spent.

Parenting Tip #2: Thanks For Asking

At some point between the ages 2 and 4 our kids realize that sometimes they should take matters into their own hands, and sometimes they need to ask us for permission. When one of our kids rightly asks us for permission to do something, my wife and I thank them for asking. It's a small thing but one which warrants attention I think. The things that go in the "ask first bucket" are usually there for a reason. Sydney knows she can go potty without asking. She can refill her cup with water without asking. But she cannot go upstairs without asking and she cannot go out into the garage without asking. She is only 3 years old, and these last two have the potential to impact her safety. She has known these rules for a long while now and she is very good at keeping them, but we do not want her to forget they are still important to us. In order to reinforce the rules and help keep her invested in following them, we try to always thank her for her thoughtfulness.

I made a video to illustrate. Sydney was beside herself with joy and cheesiness as she recited her line with me.

Parenting Tip #2: Thanks For Asking from dewde on Vimeo.

When your little one acts in a conscientious manner make sure to tell them so! They hear "No" and "Don't" and all sorts of negatives day in and day out. Never miss the opportunity to reinforce the positive for a change. They so totally drink that stuff up.

Don't you?

NEXT: Parenting Tip #3 - Setting Expectations